Relational Dialectics

Relational dialectics refer to the "knot of contradictions" that happens when you feel compelled to act in opposite ways at the same time. We discussed this idea in class when we went over the article about classroom participation. Even though we all want the classroom to be lively and have the students participating, sometimes we choose to not participate because of many factors. One example of this phenomena would the want to be open with your partner, and the simultaneous desire to want privacy. Similarly, there is the desire to see them, and also desiring for alone time. This isn't because you do not care for the other person, but you cannot realistically spend every hour with them. 

For me, this manifests in my relationship with my girlfriend. We see each other a lot because we go to the same school. Even still, sometimes I will decide to stay home and play video games or play soccer, even though I have the option of seeing her at any time. An example of the open/close relational dialectic in my relationship includes the desire to know everything about each other, but knowing that there are certain things we are still not comfortable sharing. Obviously I won't go into detail about what those things are, but it is OK to leave things off the table. 

Relational dialectics help us gain perspective on how complex our decisions and desires are in relation to others.It is impossible to accurately predict human behavior, because people are not one-dimensional characters.